À La Mode
by snarechan
Summary: Knock Out and Breakdown's notorious misfortune strikes again. And again.


**Pairings**: None**  
>Rating<strong>: K+**  
>Categories<strong>: Adventure/Humor**  
>Warnings<strong>: None**  
>Status<strong>: One-shot, complete**  
>Summary<strong>: Knock Out and Breakdown's notorious misfortune strikes again. And again.

**Notes**: This was written as an anniversary gift to my BFF Cassandra Cassidy, though we celebrated our friendship back in October. Funny story actually – she was without Internet at the time of my gifting this, so over the phone I read the story to her in its entirety.

It should be noted this fanfic takes place prior to the first season finale, probably closer to episode twenty-two: _Stronger,__Faster_, though it can relatively fit in anywhere. Keppiehed kindly offered to edit this for me, but any errors that remain are my own.

* * *

><p>To date, Antarctica had to be the least extraordinary region that Knock Out had encountered on this planet. If it were at all possible, the environment was even less interesting than its distant cousin in the north.<p>

A storm was brewing, and a howling wind blew across the tundra, tossing loose snow across the barren landscape. The ground was improperly designed for ease of mobility, the mounting chill threatened to freeze his fuel lines, and there was nothing of interest for leagues. He beheld all this location had to offer and dismissed it as the dullest spot on Earth. Turning to his cohort for this excursion, Knock Out noted that Breakdown appeared to share his opinion.

They'd been assigned the task of finding all possible Energon deposits, including those in such inhospitable areas such as this. Knock Out would do the scouting, while Breakdown was along to provide backup, as per usual.

He'd resolutely put off this particular visit. Though he'd theorized that whatever raw Energon existed here would be nearly impossible to excavate, their esteemed superiors demanded evidence of the material's presence and valid proof of its exact whereabouts to support his claims. And so he and Breakdown had ground bridged to the Antarctic to investigate his findings.

"What's the plan?" Breakdown asked.

Knock Out sighed, and in doing so expelled visible heat from his vents; the steam swirled about him until a breeze stole it away.

"To get this little venture over and done with as soon as possible," he said.

Which shouldn't be difficult, since Knock Out remained convinced this entire trip was as pointless as it was idiotic. The detectable traces of Energon that reached the surface were small in amount, but where there were a few, more could _always_ be expected. Knock Out already knew this, just like he knew the rest would be buried under layers and layers of snow, ice and stone, making it tricky to mine. As it stood, all it should take to complete this trip was reaching the location of the Energon, scanning it and returning to the flagship so Knock Out could say 'I told you so' in the most scientific of terms.

A fortunate turn of events, given that they were working on borrowed time. Though their mechanical biology was built to tolerate a lot of damage, even they were not immune to the laws of physics. The faster their orders were completed, the faster they could return to the climate-controlled and secured confines of the _Nemesis._

Knock Out was using an Energon reader that would direct them to the nearest reserve. He'd instructed the ground bridge control crew to drop them both off close to a cache, if his initial calculations were correct , which he had no doubt they were.

He listed off the coordinates, tucking the equipment away and transforming. It'd be quicker to drive the distance than walk it, or so they had assumed. Halfway there, the pair ran into a gathering of ice formations jaggedly blocking their path. Scaling them wouldn't be difficult, not for beings of their immense size, but it would be time consuming.

Resuming their bipedal forms, Breakdown's right hand changed into his customary hammer and dug into the vertical surfaces. Knock Out trailed after him, using the same foot and handholds the other Decepticon found or made to reach the top. From the higher vantage point, they were able to see that the rugged terrain continued but eventually reached a sheer drop.

When they arrived at that point, they slid to the bottom. Breakdown landed hard, causing some of the ice to crack and shower from above, while Knock Out reached the base with a slight flourish. He whipped out the tracking device in the same motion.

"We should be close… It's straight ahead, even," he said, motioning Breakdown over with a wave of two fingers.

They made their way through the flatter terrain, though Knock Out and Breakdown still had to maneuver around chunks of ice that jutted out of the ground like spears. Along their travels, the snowstorm began to pick up.

An animal's cry from nearby alerted them to the fact they weren't alone. Knock Out tensed as his sensors pinged, identifying a group of small, organic life forms. The caution was superfluous, however. His optics cycled through different settings, identifying the creatures as mammalian and semi-aquatic, and sporting flippers and vibrissae: nothing threatening.

"What are they?" Breakdown asked, lip curling in disgust.

"Who cares? They're harmless and comprised mostly of fat and not our reason for being here," Knock Out said.

Dismissing the animals, he carried on. From the corner of his eye, he saw Breakdown mock-lurch toward the meaty creatures, startling them into a howling frenzy. They scattered. He chuckled at the ruckus his actions had wrought, and Knock Out refrained from acknowledging the teasing, allowing the other Decepticon his entertainment.

An outpouring of readouts showed that the two of them were almost right on top of the Energon by this point. Kicking aside some snow, Knock Out found a small section sticking out and kneeled to get a closer look. Digging with his fingers, he was able to expose more for a proper analysis, which took far less time to gather than it did for them to find it.

When he was finishing up, he announced, "I just need a sample, then we're done here."

"You got it," Breakdown said.

Again, his hand formed a hammer and he slammed it into the surrounding area of the tiny deposit. Something snapped, but to their mounting horror it was not the Energon; the ground shifted under them in all directions.

"That…can't be good," Breakdown said.

Knock Out swept the displaced snow aside to reveal cracks. He gasped as the ground they stood on pitched and separated with a lurch The way they'd come was no longer an option; the path became nothing more than floating patches of ice and ocean.

With a start, Knock Out realized too late they were presiding over a body of water and ordered Breakdown to drive. Their escape to safety created two problems: their weight crushed the remaining surface and their rapid movements aided the oncoming surge. Knock Out and Breakdown were forced to split up to prevent their combined mass from further shattering the ice immediately below them.

Knock Out sped across the surface, the jagged lines nipping at his tires. The shore loomed, but positioned directly before it was an opening, and he was forced to turn to avoid it. His wheels had no traction, and instead of evading the water he hurdled directly for it. In mid-slide he transformed, trying to grab hold of anything he could. There was nothing.

He fell in, the freezing liquid enveloping him. Everything, his fans, vents, intakes, protested the onslaught of cold, as not all of them were able to seal closed before being exposed. An underwater current carried him a short distance before he dug the sharp points of his digits into the bottom of the ice. Desperate, he hailed Breakdown.

His chronometer would count down until he froze or his internals suffocated. The odds were not in his favor.

Through the ice, he could vaguely identify a blue blob on the opposite side. It was a vibration: Breakdown was trying to smash through. While his partner performed that, he turned his hand into a buzz saw and cut into the ice, still clinging with the other.

Knock Out's engine jounced from the low temperatures, and he was losing motor functions.

His eyesight was becoming impaired. Darkening.

_Crack!_

He lost his grip, but something snagged his arm, pulled and exposed him to the tundra air.

"Knock Out!" Breakdown urgently called his name, though he only heard it the third time it was yelled.

He couldn't respond more than a wet gurgle; his frame was filled with salt water despite its cautionary attempts to close off any openings. He tried to claw his way free from the water, hands scrambling for purchase, but he was slipping back again. Breakdown grabbed a ridge on his shoulders and hauled him the rest of the way out.

Every plate opened, dumping water out of his precious internals, and as undignified as it was he even spat some into the snow. A couple parts in his chest were frozen tightly shut, so he was forced to tug it apart and hold it open. Breakdown gave him a couple firm pats on the back, dispelling even more water.

"You all right?"

Knock Out wanted to snap the obvious: that the exposure to water and subzero air temperatures were wreaking havoc on his systems, that his body felt altogether too small, and he'd almost-

But he couldn't. His jaw was braced closed from the chill.

He could only nod his head minutely into his arms while he recovered on hands and knees. Breakdown anxiously waited for him to recuperate, his bulk taking the brunt of the blustery wind. The conditions had worsened to a full-blown blizzard, and even with their advanced eyesight it was difficult to see through the whiteout. The speed at which disaster had fallen upon them would be impressive if it weren't happening to them.

"I can't contact base." Breakdown tentatively broke the silence. "I think we're getting interference from the storm. I checked the conditions before we left; we shouldn't be getting hit this hard."

It struck a sour note in Knock Out – that an advanced race such as theirs, with superior technology still couldn't get decent reception.

"It appears that Mother Nature didn't get the memo," he at last managed to speak, albeit in a rasp.

He pushed his chest panel closed. A thin layer of frost coated his body, and it was only going to get worse. He'd be fortunate if he didn't suffer from rust, or an essential part of himself breaking clean off.

With some difficulty, he dismissed the concerns and glanced back the way they'd come. There was a large body of water positioned between the duo and the way to the original drop off coordinates. If communications weren't shot, they could have returned to the point of contact and awaited retrieval because one of their allies would be monitoring that area for activity, but he couldn't see more than a few paces in front of him. There was no telling what was solid ground or what was another dunk in the ocean waiting to happen. The danger was too great, even if they wanted to risk finding an alternative way around the water.

"We need to find a place to lie low, at least until this blizzard passes," Knock Out said, still wheezing.

He retrieved his pole weapon and planted one end in the ground to propel himself to his feet.

"But where to?" Breakdown asked.

There was only one option: behind them, to the south. Breakdown took point and plowed onward with Knock Out trailing in his footsteps, often literally. The snow was thicker here, and the continued snowfall wasn't helping, which made it hard for the smaller Decepticon to walk without using the imprints Breakdown left behind. The wind was blowing from a bad angle, and if Knock Out didn't have access to his partner's beacon it was very likely that they would have lost track of each other.

The search was going poorly. The snowdrifts were flimsy protection; they were either too short or not wide enough to be suitable.

At one point, Knock Out stumbled and his weapon saved him from falling flat on his face. His joints were starting to lock up, causing his movements to become creaky and slow. Breakdown was also starting to exhibit signs of fatigue.

_Anything?_ he asked, resorting to shortwave frequencies. If he'd spoken aloud, the blizzard would have canceled him out.

_I__ think __my __sonar __is __picking __up __an __opening __in __the __distance__ – __maybe__ a __cave,_ Breakdown transmitted.

They steadfastly trekked closer to their possible shelter. The entrance was dark and barely large enough to accommodate Knock Out. A pile of ice blocked a portion of it, and using his pole as a lever, he stuck it in the ground. Breakdown grabbed hold as well, and with a powerful heave of their shoulders they shoved aside enough to permit them to squeeze inside.

They attempted to fit in at the same time, which was a mistake because in their depleted states both Decepticons weren't prepared for the sloping drop near the opening. Breakdown stumbled and slipped first; Knock Out was unable to stop himself from doing the same immediately after.

"Ugh, Knock Out?" Breakdown called, his headlights flickering back on after the fall.

No sooner than he'd uttered those words, Knock Out collapsed on top of him, his weapon the last to join them. It first struck the head of its owner with a harsh clang-

"Ah!"

Smacking Breakdown in the face second-

"Ungh!"

Before clattering to the ground.

Knock Out was glad no one save them had bared witness to the incident, humiliating as it was. He scowled as he disentangled himself from his assistant and snatched the tool back, tucking it into a compartment where it wouldn't be capable of retaliation again.

The both of them observed their new surroundings: they were in an underground cavern of sorts. Their fall wasn't far, but the distance from the floor to the entrance was taller than the combined height of Knock Out and Breakdown. Getting out would be harder than getting in, but that was a problem for later.

"How, uh, you holding up?"

Though the fall had broken off a portion of frost and the built up chunks of ice that their journey had accumulated, he was still in bad shape. Knock Out's core temperature was dropping, as evidenced by his self-diagnostics and exterior lighting. The neon red strips along his neck, back and legs dimmed. They would be turning blue in warning next, signaling shut down. Subtly, he pressed closer to the wall, obscuring their view from Breakdown as they got settled.

"I'll survive," Knock Out glibly said. "What about your arm?"

The one that Breakdown had used to pull him out ran the same risks as the rest of Knock Out's body did from the exposure to the ocean water. Breakdown lifted it so he could see the thicker layer of ice coating it and a medium-sized opening that ran the length of his inside forearm. Knock Out made a tsk-ing noise at the sight of it and took it in both hands, turning it to and fro to judge the severity of it.

"When did you get this?" he asked.

Already he was dredging up the energy to repair the lesion.

"While digging you out of the lake. It got caught on a block of ice," he said, shrugging.

It wouldn't be his most sophisticated patch job, but if he didn't close it the expansion from the cold could ruin the entire limb. A one-armed assistant would do him little good here. The metal was too cold to seal with a welder, however, what he _did_ have was enough sheeting to bolt over the wound. Such a repair wouldn't be foolproof because it wasn't airtight, but it would keep out the majority of the elements that worked against them.

At least they didn't have to worry about the worst of the harsh, wintry conditions at this level. This prolonged their longevity, though Knock Out calculated that, given their current status with the alterations in their environment, the odds remained stacked against them. He gave a derisive snort at the notion.

Breakdown shifted to give him a sidelong glance, but Knock Out waved away an explanation and finished his work. Afterwards, he curled his arms close to his chest, where his core systems were located. They were running harder to remain at minimal efficiency. It was the warmest part of him because of that. His extremities were starting to lose heat as more and more functions were aborted to conserve energy and control essential programs.

A quick examination of his partner revealed that his systems were doing the same. A thermal scan showed blues and greens farther away from Breakdown's power core. His larger build provided additional insulation, but in exchange it demanded more energy to run properly and posed the same issues Knock Out was dealing with.

"Now might be wise to resort to our Energon rations," Knock Out suggested.

It wouldn't stop the threat of shutdown, but at this point they were intent on buying time. The boost in energy levels would be enough to sustain primary functions.

Knock Out reached to access his but found the items missing from the compartment where he stored them. He cursed in his frustration at losing his share and the 'emergency' spares he was granted as a medical officer. He started as something moved in his peripheral vision: it was Breakdown presenting him with one of his. A warrior class of his size was permitted two.

He accepted the offering. It was a patch that could be attached anywhere under their dermal plating. He applied it to the closest area to his chest, a low area along his neck. Breakdown had placed it on the inner elbow of his good arm, where some of the larger tubes could easily absorb the Energon.

"How long do you think the storm will last?" Breakdown asked.

The yellow of his one optic moved to look at the opening above. Flurries of snow found their way inside, and the sound of the wind rushing past the opening echoed through the cave, but not much else could be detected of the blizzard occurring outside. Knock Out's ability to tell time had been taken from him during his fall through the ice, so he had no clear notion of how long it had even been happening, but he hazarded a guess.

"Sometime soon, I should hope to think – though that won't be soon enough for my tastes. Just keep thinking warm thoughts, and we should outlast it," he said, smirking grimly.

"Ri-ght," Breakdown deadpanned.

"Like visiting those islands off the coast of North America," Knock Out volunteered. "As soon as we're away from this deplorable continent, I'll be paying them a visit. Assuming the _Nemesis_ is no longer stationed in the desert, in which case a little sunbathing on deck is in order."

"Those islands might not be so bad. I wouldn't mind a running leap into a volcano right about now."

They continued to talk, the distraction keeping them active. Eventually, however, the patches they'd applied began to run low and the cold ran its course. Knock Out startled awake, almost by sheer force of will, to realize he'd begun to idle. Most of his pain receptors had automatically turned off, numbing certain parts of him, and his core temperature was reaching alarming levels. At some point, both of them had drifted off.

"Breakdown, wake up!" he said.

When he did not receive a response, Knock Out slapped him to awareness. Breakdown grunted, lazily inclining his head toward him. The action wasn't completely reassuring, but Knock Out sighed nonetheless.

"What?"

"No sleeping! It could be the last and final thing you do," he warned.

"But-"

"Don't question me," Knock Out snapped, in no mood to argue the issue.

To his credit, Breakdown strove to follow his instructions. They were able to further engage in conversation, but the larger Decepticon was fading, and fast. Knock Out's condition was also deteriorating, though he forcefully banished that observation and concentrated on other pressing matters.

The second time he was forced to rouse Breakdown, he was not as successful. Breakdown no longer responded to Knock Out's voice commands or physical stimuli, and another thermal scan revealed the worrisome results he'd predicted. His body creaked and groaned as he forced himself to his feet and retrieved his pole weapon, adjusted to a lower setting.

"We did _not_ fight countless Autobots, travel parsecs from Cybertron, and put up with Starscream to offline on this backwater planet for a lousy scouting mission. So wake _up!_" Knock Out said, stabbing the electric end into Breakdown's midsection.

His body barely jolted at the treatment, so he upped the voltage by five. This time, Breakdown's inner systems sputtered and his optical unit resumed live feed.

"Stop that, it tickles," he protested.

Knock Out was prepared to retort, but already his associate was going back under. He looked up, where his audios registered the fact the wind had died down and snow no longer blew in. If ever there was a time to act, now might be their only chance; the time to discover a way out was upon them. If Breakdown boosted him up, he could reach the outside and maybe contact the Decepticons, but that would leave his partner without supervision until _if_ or _when _he could find assistance. A glance toward Breakdown was enough to see that he did not have that long.

"Come on now, up you go," Knock Out coaxed, guiding Breakdown more than anything toward the exit. When they reached the wall of ice, he carved an 'X' in the center with the sharp point of his finger. "Do what you do best and break this down!"

He couldn't transform either hand anymore, so he punched it as his full weight fell on the limb. The ice forming their enclosure crumbled at Breakdown's handiwork. A single, wide seam split the wall in half and spread into several tinier cracks like the root of a tree. Knock Out and Breakdown scrambled to dodge the onslaught of ice and snow that threatened to collapse on them as the place caved in.

In doing so, the event turned into a twist of good fortune, at least in a matter of speaking. Knock Out climbed out, using the blocks of ice as leverage. His upper body breached the top layer and he surveyed the area, but didn't see any signs of Breakdown. He delivered a short radio burst to try and detect his whereabouts, though it didn't turn out to be necessary as a spot to his right shuddered and then split as his partner appeared.

Knock Out pulled himself the rest of the way free and rushed over; this time it was his turn to pull Breakdown out of danger. He didn't have the strength to do so, even at his peak efficiency, but he latched onto his searching hand and tugged him in the right direction. As he helped Breakdown, he booted up every active faction frequency at his disposal in hopes of contacting _someone._

The storm was still ongoing as snowflakes blew all around them, but it was nowhere near the intensity of earlier. Knock Out panicked as nothing but static and white noise filled the feeds. _Was __no __one __receiving __his__ distress__ signal?_ Despite the probability of reaching a lull in the blizzard, enough hindrance might remain to hamper his equipment. Then, suddenly:

"_This __is __Unit __246. __We __read __you __and __are __triangulating __your __location __now._"

Breakdown finally came loose, just as a ground bridge opened a couple paces away. Those 'couple paces' were the longest of their existence. He had to keep leading Breakdown, his joints creaking and threatening to snap as the larger Decepticon put more of his weight on Knock Out. By the time they reached their way back to the _Nemesis_, its edges were wavering as it was buffeted by the wind and the weather promised to interfere with the transmission.

But they made it through, running on fumes as they stumbled into the transport room onboard the ship. Starscream, along with a small crew of drones, was waiting to greet them upon their arrival. While Knock Out was pleased to be rescued, he wasn't so thrilled by the welcoming committee.

Vehicons rushed over to assist the duo, even serving as support in place of Knock Out. The group began to lead Breakdown to the lab facilities, but he refused. Knock Out would have directed him there himself if Starscream hadn't demanded he debrief that very moment.

"I see you two experienced some difficulties during your visit to the southern hemisphere. Did you at least find the Energon you were assigned to study?" Starscream asked.

_Or __goaded_. Through the haze of hypothermia, Knock Out smirked right back in his superior's face.

"As a matter of fact, we did. I'll be sure to relive all the details of our findings in my report," he said, and added as if in afterthought, "Although, I should warn you now that all your _wild_ theories of accessible energy are nonexistent, _Commander._So sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

It was the closest to 'I was right and you were wrong' he could manage.

Starscream frowned. "No matter! Go and make yourselves presentable for Megatron. It's him you have to report to."

They were escorted away after that. Knock Out seethed at his short-lived victory. _Presentable?_ He examined himself, and ice started to break off and clatter to the floor in chunks as the warmth of the battleship counteracted the effects of the Antarctic, revealing gouges and spotty paint as they thawed. They were leaving a trail of slush as they walked.

The fact that Starscream was _right_ made this experience all the more painful to endure, and it would not soon be forgotten. Knock Out appeased himself with the knowledge that he would have the chance to return the favor – either through his own creative means or Starscream doing it himself through his own egotistical incompetence. In the meantime…

"Hey, Knock Out?" Breakdown called, summoning him from his musings.

"Hm? What is it?"

"You still up for Hawaii?"

"Heh, expect it to be our next stop after repairs and an audience with Megatron," he confirmed, looking forward to some good fortune in the mess of all this.

-Fin-


End file.
